Take action when bad news has you worried

Moving past crises helps us enjoy the good things in life

A friend sent me a “Peanuts” cartoon this week that read “Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening. It just stops you from enjoying the good.”

While I agree with this, I cannot help but also recognize that our worry index has gone up exponentially in recent times. It comes up more intensely in my personal life, professional interactions and social interactions.

There are many causes for this. Personally I think with aging it seems natural to do so. I remember when my parents thought the world was going to heck in the 1960s, and they lived through the Second World War.

Of course, we need to recognize that these have not been the best of times recently, living through a pandemic that seems to come wave after wave. Followed by a recession. Oh yes, and a war in Ukraine that just may be the prelude to a third world war?

And man, does this 24/7 news cycle ever load you up with things to worry about! Add in listening to elderly friends tell you constantly about their medical conditions. Plus all the funerals last year. I went to five and two were shockers.

My loving wife is a worrier and presents me with lots of possibilities. She is the one with the science background and of course wants to reflect on the causes and also feels quite overwhelmed with the state of affairs.

I on the other hand am an optimist and planner. So I spend a lot of time attempting to help her sort things out.

Surrounded by worries I am, I am. I feel like a cartoon character saying this but it is true. No wonder I like to get away to the golf course. Oops, I have real worries there with my game but it still is fun to whack that ball even harder when it ticks me off.

So what can I do to help at home and work? Well, one of the things I try to do is sort out what is simply beyond our control and what do we have the ability and will to do something about.

The second thing I try to do is help develop a plan that can help us gain a little control over the elements we can influence.

And the third thing I try to do is build a plan with options, contingencies, supports, evidence and continuous update mechanisms that help us adjust to changing circumstances.

Note that each of these requires action. Just worrying is debilitating. So what does action look like in terms of a real problem?

The weather. This past week we had a major snowstorm come through and dump 10 inches of snow overnight.

So what can we do? We asked ourselves what do we have control over. Given that I have primary responsibility for snow removal at our home I can plan to see that this happens. My rule for me, given that I am 78, is that if it is light snow I shovel the drive and walk. If heavy I bring in outside help to do so. So I called and lined up the outside help who actually came as planned and cleared out our drive in time for us to do our routines.

But on the day of the storm we were to go to Toronto to a play. One other thing we have control over is our schedule and we made the decision not to go because we were not sure the roads would be safe. But before we made this decision we checked all the evidence about the coming storm. We discussed our options for example using the bus or train. It just seemed the wise thing was to not go.

It was amazing how relieved my wife and I were to have made this decision. So we settled in and waited out the storm. More importantly we actually were able to see the beauty of the storm when we got up and saw the trees outlined with snow.

Nature also rewarded us by having a sunrise that sent light reflect through the edges of the snow and it looked like crystal sparkling across the landscape. Yes, we missed the play but we relieved our worry and it allowed us to enjoy nature rather than fear it.

I know that there are real fears each of us face each day. But we can diminish them. If we respect the other person’s and our own fears. If we can support one another in discussing and finding alternative solutions.

Just maybe, if we do so, we can as “Peanuts” says open ourselves up to enjoy the good things in life.